BlogVixen, Vixen

Doggie Zen

I got a new kitten last Friday. He is adorable and playful and noisy and sweet. And currently obsessed with trying to eat my necklace in the cutest of ways. I asked Traveler if he would like to go with me to pick up the new kitten (which would necessarily keep me at home for the evening and unable to go out with him). He said he'd love to, but thought he aught to spend some time with his dog, Zen. He pointed out that he'd been at my place every night for the last week, and so he'd spent very little time with his dog. I acknowledged that that was important, but asked if he might stay away juuuuust one night longer (as we both knew I was having girlfriends over Saturday night, which would keep us apart for the night).

He made a suggestion that took me by surprise. He asked what I thought of him bringing Zen over with him for the night.

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This past month has been quite the whirlwind, and I've been swept up and swept away by my sexy Traveler. So much has happened, and I've had so little time to write about it all. But really, that is a good thing - I've been having such a wonderful time living my life that I've not had spare time to write about it. There's much to tell.

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Good hands... no, WONDERFUL hands...

Last night I discovered something lovely: Traveler has magical hands. Or at least it seems that way. The night before, he'd told me he was going to go play ice hockey. The following morning, I texted him and asked if he was all bruised and battered from his hockey game. He said that he wasn't, but he had aching muscles that he couldn't find on any anatomical chart. So, being the sweet and flirty girl that I am, I offered him a rubdown. A bunch of verbal banter later, he decided to go get a professional massage, join me to play pool at my league for the evening, and then go back to my place afterward for that private rubdown.

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OtherPayVanilla Date 2: Full of Fail

So, I've been on OtherPayVanilla for about 3 weeks now, and I can't say that I'm terribly happy with it so far. The process, I think I like - well, I think I would like if it were actually working. I am kind of liking the idea of the process of guided communication and careful matching that this site promotes, BUT... in actuality the site is not being very fruitful for me at all. The matches have gotten few and far between, I reject most of the profiles with whom they match me, very few of the matches I respond to ever log in to view my profile much less communicate, and the few dates I've had so far have been just as disappointing as those from other dating sites (if not more so).

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Always log out

Some people need to be taught a lesson. Or so it would seem. A friend checked out a loaner laptop at her university library, and when she brought up Facebook, she discovered that the last person to borrow the laptop had not logged out of his account before turning the machine in.

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Another blah date

I met another guy from SexSite last night that had seemed somewhat promising, but was ultimately disappointing. We'd chatted online a fair bit and on the phone as well. He's a lawyer who recently moved to the area, and who, like me, shares a love of travel. Before we'd even met, he'd invited me to go on an international trip with him.

Whoa, getting a bit ahead of yourself, don't you think? He said he's planning a trip to Vienna this summer, and might I like to join him for a trip like that? I told him that IF we hit it off in person and IF we kept seeing one another and IF we were still seeing one another later this summer when the trip was approaching, I'd love to take such a trip together. But I wasn't about to commit to anything with someone I'd not even met much less determined if we were compatible enough to take a vacation together.

When we met in person, I knew as soon as I sat down that I wasn't going to be into him. His photo was of the 'hard to tell' variety, where he could end up being either very dashing looking, or he could be a dork. He went in the dork direction. It was as if each of his features in his photo was tweaked just a bit such that in person he looked like a slightly caricaturized version of his photo, and generally looked pretty goofy. I waited for his personality to de-goofify him, but it did not. Definitely goofy, and not in a good way.

And, at dinner, he was clearly still trying to get me to go to Austria with him. He mentioned that he'd just booked the trip and asked again if I might like to go with him. He asked questions about how my vacation time works out (like how much vacation time I get with my job and what sort of advanced planning/notice is involved with taking time off). I tried to answer vaguely about the amount of time I get and how I can take time off, and then deftly changed topics to other trips I want to take this summer to visit assorted family and friends around the country.

When we left, he walked me to my car and as we were saying goodbye, he asked if we could get together again, and I simply said "we'll see" and said goodbye.

I got an instant message this morning saying that he had a good time, but is going to assume that I was not interested. I responded saying his assumption was correct, and I just didn't feel dating chemistry with him, and then deleted and blocked him. Message delivered, no further communication necessary.

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Dating and Shopping

Ever interested in my tales of adventures in online dating, TheLibrarian forwarded me an article about online dating which likened dating to shopping for a mate, and asserted that some people (particularly people in big cities where there were lots of dating choices) were never happy because they couldn't stop looking to trade up to something better, couldn't stop shopping.

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Theatrics, disappointments, and delights

This weekend was a whirlwind of busy. And, as the subject of this entry indicates, full of theatrics, disappointments, and delights. Where to begin? Ahh, how about with the theatrics.

By pure chance, I ended up with plans to see three plays, three nights in a row, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Thursday and Friday's plays were with friends, and both were entertaining but still deeply flawed. Saturday, TheLibrarian and I were invited out to see a play with a friend of his who is the local newspaper's theater reviewer. I'd been hearing about TheReviewer for some time now, and TheLibrarian had told me he was in his early 60s. After meeting TheReviewer, I had to ask TheLibrarian several times to confirm his age - because I swear the man looks like he is in his mid-40s. He looks FANTASTIC for his age. Apparently 30+ years of marriage to the same man agree with him. I found TheReviewer to be utterly delightful - we talked and talked and talked so much over dinner that I occasionally had to remind myself to make a point of including TheLibrarian in the conversation, practically forgetting he was there. He didn't seem to mind at all, from the look on his face, I think he was just tickled pink that his two friends were getting on so well.

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Sex for Fat Days

Seriously, I got an email in my inbox today from a website equivalent of a ladies' magazine like Cosmo with the subject line "Fat Day? Tired? Sex Positions for Every Scenario!"

Fat Day?

I mean I've heard of bad hair days, but Fat Day?


OK, I'll bite. I clicked the link.

It was an article called "Sex Positions for Fat Days and More." The advice was ridiculous, in my opinion. The first section on "Fat Days" was silly-amusing, all about how to hide your paunch from your sweetie during sex rather than whining "Don't look at me, I'm so FAT!" and avoiding sex.

But the second section really made me snicker:

You're exhausted

What you want:
A zero-effort session where he won't notice if you nod off during the boring bits — plus speedy orgasms so you're spooning (and snoring) in no time.
Intimate instructions: Chances are you're already lying on your side, your back to his front (eyes determinedly shut despite his penis prodding you in the back), so this really is lazy-girl sex. Just lift your bottom to allow him to penetrate, and tighten your thighs for maximum friction while his hands reach around to stimulate your clitoris. To speed him up, make lots of satisfied groans and moans.

Sneaky tricks: If you're half asleep, your sexual system probably is too, so help it along by using lubricant. Save even more energy by ditching the usual in-out thrusting motion, and instead clench one buttock cheek at a time to rock you from side to side.

I was kind of incredulous after reading this - really? They're promoting putting zero effort into sex, and sessions where it's ok to nod off during the "boring bits"?!?! There shouldn't BE boring bits in the first place, and promoting being a lazy partner is no good. And then they basically say "fake lots of satisfied moans and groans to hurry him up and get him off more quickly so you can go to sleep"

WTF?! Seriously? Their advice amounts to: what to do when you're trying to fake sleep despite your guy's erection prodding you in the back is to lift a butt cheek and let him slip it in and then fake sounding like you're enjoying yourself so he'll get off more quickly and let you go to sleep.

They also advise, on shower sex: "your best bet is to face away from the water, because you move your head more than you think during sex, and water shooting up your nose is not hot." - you know, water that is pouring down from above my head ultimately shooting up my nose is never been a problem for me during shower sex, no matter how much I thrash my head around.

Then, in a section on what to do if you're having trouble getting off, they suggest "try the old "fake it till you make it" method. Pretend you're going into the throes of orgasm (clench your bottom and thighs and moan), and you may trick your body by providing all the triggers it associates with actual orgasm."

So... you've been in "almost but not quite there" phase for quite a while and you're getting frustrated at your inability to get over the edge and reach orgasm, and they're suggesting that if you just PRETEND you're going into orgasm, then you'll trick your body into having an ACTUAL orgasm.

I'm rolling my eyes REALLY hard and shaking my head. WTF?!

Whoever wrote this article is an utter idiot. They're not doing their readers any favors.