He spent Monday and Tuesday texting me like crazy, and tried to get me to see him again on Monday night. Tempted as I was, I maintained a little willpower and waited until Tuesday evening to see him - although we discussed my arriving early to help him with dinner, and staying after everyone had left so that we could have some private time to fully explore the crackling physical chemistry we'd discovered on our first date. I planned to stay the night. Katya mentioned to Traveler in passing the possibility of all six of us maybe having some play time after dinner, and Traveler told her perhaps another time, since he and I had plans to focus on one another that night. I was rather flattered that he passed up the opportunity for a little wild group sex action to focus on lil' ol' me. And rather grateful that Katya was not only happy to share her playmate and set me up with him, but to forgo the playtime she was hoping for us all to have in the interest of us getting some time to focus solely on each other.
Dinner was lovely. Traveler is Mr. Entertainment, the sort of host who is the life of the party and who keeps a liquor cabinet fully stocked with his guests' favorites despite the fact that he doesn't drink himself. He made a fabulous meal for us all, and the six of us spent hours sitting around the dinner table on the deck talking and sharing stories. As I looked around the table, I thought to myself how on the surface it looked like a totally normal scene, with three couples sharing a meal, but really, it was quite odd by most peoples' standards: Across from me was seated Katya, holding hands with her boyfriend. To my right was Katya's husband, Gregory, whose feet were being lovingly rubbed by his girlfriend, and to my left was Traveler, who was snuggled up to me much more closely than you might expect for someone I'd only met 2 days earlier. He was very affectionate, full of light caresses and nibbling on my ears now and then, any outside observer would have probably assumed we'd been "together" for quite some time - and, to be honest, it didn't FEEL like we'd just met 2 days earlier (and had not even done anything more physically than make out together); I felt very comfortable with him very quickly.
Eventually the gang departed, and after saying his goodbyes, Traveler swept me up into his arms for a kiss, saying "I thought they'd never leave!" We spent the next few hours deliciously exhausting one another before snuggling up into a deep sleep.
The next day, not too long after I'd gotten to work, he was texting me again. He'd forgotten to give me some home made banana bread which he wanted me to try. He lives about 45 minutes from me, but had a meeting late in the afternoon about 10 minutes from my place. He suggested coming by after his meeting. I told him "Yes, I think you should bring me banana bread. And penis. Bring me some of that too."
He was happy to oblige.
So he came by after work, and after we'd sat chatting for a few minutes, I asked if he'd remembered to bring the banana bread. He chuckled and said he'd completely forgotten. I said "Wait a minute, I thought that was your whole excuse for coming over?"
He smiled and said "No, the excuse for coming over was this..." and then he leaned down and gave me a sweet kiss.
(And then I screwed him silly.)
I had told him before he came over that I had to leave by 6:30 to go to my pool league, but that if he had no other plans, he was welcome to come along and we could hang out and shoot some pool when I wasn't playing one of my league matches. I figured he'd have other things to do, but in fact, he was thrilled to come along. He used to be quite the pool shark, but hadn't picked up his cue in ten years. He enjoyed himself so much that he decided he wants to join the league as well. Spiff!
On Thursday, he had to leave for a business trip, returning Monday. He blew up my phone with text messages while he was gone, texting me all day in between meetings with clients and the like, and called a few times while he was gone too. He wanted to come see me straight from the airport. I was inclined to let him.
Wait a minute...
Aren't we supposed to be just Friends with Benefits here? Seems like a bit more than that to me. And if I pay attention to the things that he says to me, it seems like he sees it as a bit more than that too. But at the same time, I've also heard him say things in reference to other women that he's dated since his wife died that imply that all he wants is FWB.
For example, over the weekend he was set up on a blind date with the niece of his dad's golfing buddy (which he accepted grudgingly to avoid having to answer the question "so, why didn't you ever call my niece?" on their next golf date). He texted me when he got back, telling me how it hadn't gone anywhere (as expected), if for no other reason than "She wants a boyfriend." (and had broken it off with her last boyfriend because he had commitment issues.)
The implication, of course, to a girl who's paying attention, is that if *I* want a boyfriend, I'm out of luck. But he also said things to the effect that he was going to stay in and behave himself until he got to see me again, and that hooking up with another woman would constitute misbehaving.
So, um, I guess I've been getting some mixed messages - in relation to other women, he has given the message that he's generally only looking for casual friends with benefits and doesn't want a romantic/committed relationship, but in relation to me he acts a lot more like this is a dating thing.
He came to see me as soon as he got in from the airport, and we ended up spending the rest of the afternoon and night together, amusing ourselves with good food, good pool, and great sex (several times). We forewent sex this morning for the sake of an extra hour of hitting the snooze bar and snuggling... well, until it was almost time to get up and we couldn't resist a quickie. *grin*
In the middle of the afternoon, I got an unexpected call from him. He called to chat, to talk about his day, and to ask some questions about some of the fun we'd had last night (asking if, despite the eleventy bazillion orgasms, there was anything he might have done differently to make me enjoy the experience even MORE... wins extra brownie points).
I was rather surprised when HE brought up the issue of where we're at with regards to Friends with Benefits vs. dating. He acknowledged that we kind of met on a FWB basis, that we seem to be super compatible, and that this might be an incredibly premature conversation, but nevertheless, he wanted my thoughts on it all.
I basically said that while I'm OK with he and I being FWB, in a general sense, I am looking for love, for a true partner, for a romantic connection. I said that as I've been getting to know him, I've not seen anything that would make us incompatible in that sense, except, possibly, for his attachment to his late wife. He acknowledged that it's still something he's working through, but that he does want to find love again. We discussed it all for a while, and the gist of the conversation was that we both see the potential with one another for "more", and figure if that's meant to be it will become apparent on its own... that when he's "ready" (whether its with me or someone else), love will just happen before he even realizes it.
I was very pleased that this is on his mind, as it has been on mine, and that we're on the same page. I'm going to treat this as friends with benefits until it becomes apparent to us both that it's not. At least I am fairly confident that (unlike, say, TheLibrarian), communicating about how he feels (in general and with regards to us) won't be an issue, and that he is the sort of guy who will be straight with me about where he's at mentally/emotionally.
And I may get to know him better and find big glaring incompatibilities...
But so far, I'm really enjoying my time with Traveler, and looking forward to more.