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So, with many reservations, I agreed to meet AnotherRealtor for lunch today. In the several days between when we made the plans and we met, he sent a charmingly sweet message each day akin to "looking forward to meeting you and seeing those beautiful eyes in person." I appreciated the compliments but it had my spidey sense tingling that he was full of shit. I've I were younger and more naiive, I would be totally looking forward to this hot guy who seemed to be totally into me and really looking forward to meeting him, only to be disappointed when it flaked out. But there was the possibility that he could be on the up and up, so I had to give a chance to meeting him.
In one phone text conversation where were discussing the new Palm Pre I'd bought on release day, he jumped to "What are you wearing today? I bet they look stunning. Did they take a photo of you for marketing purposes, if not, they should have."
He couldn't have been more wrong, considering I'd rolled out of bed and thrown on jeans and a t-shirt before running to the store to get in line for my newest techno toy. I said "Ha, there's the charmer again". For some reason (that reason being past experience with disingenuous guys who'll say anything to charm a woman into bed), whenever he says sweet and charming and suggestive things, my hackles go up, and I get the feeling it's all just a strategy to get me into bed quickly.
Hmm, do I have issues? Am I jaded or simply very perceptive?
( Read on to find out which it is... )
Buuuuut, I seem to have developed a sixth sense about online dating. Or maybe I've become a pessimist for all the right reasons. Regardless, as the date was approaching, I got a feeling... a feeling spurred on by nothing in particular, just a feeling that these meetings were going to fall through.
And in both cases, they did. In both cases, Mr. You're-awesome-and-I-can't-wait-to-meet-y
( read on for the story... )
After Craig got back from his trip, he posted a bunch of photos to his Facebook account of his team from the martial arts competition. And there was one person in particular who looked AWFULLY familiar. He's a little asian guy named Frances, and he looks an AWFUL lot like a guy who hit me up on SexSite a year or two ago. We chatted for quite a while and eventually made plans to meet for lunch. I gave him my usual confirmation call instructions, but he didn't call to confirm - so I didn't go meet him. Apparently he actually DID want to meet me, and he tried numerous times over the next few months to get me to reconsider and give him another chance. Eventually I got annoyed by it and just blocked him, having long since decided that he wasn't the guy for me. Despite having a kickin' body, he was kind of short and I'd decided I just didn't find him that attractive - so add that to the fact that he couldn't be relied upon to do something simple like make a confirmation call for a date, and I decided he wasn't worth my time.
And, as it turns out, he's on Craig's martial arts team.
SMALL FUCKIN' WORLD!
Now, it COULD be a totally different guy. But really, how many little asian dudes named Frank are there running around town?
I told Craig. We chuckled over the small world thing.
How odd.
-Vixen
So I met this guy on SexSite, and he seemed normal enough. He was in the military, and after returning from overseas, was more or less taking time off from active military duty to go to college. After chatting for a few days we decided to make plans to meet for coffee. We hammered out the details of where and when, and then came the usual part where I tell him about the need for a confirmation call the day that we meet.
That's when things got sketchy. He had some bullshit story about how his roommate's security clearance prevents him from being able to give out his phone number. It was... just... amusingly preposterous.
When meeting guys online, I make them jump through one itty bitty hoop before meeting. It's very simple. Very easy. Very undemanding. But you'd be amazed at how many guys can't seem to handle it (which confirms for me all the more that it's a wise idea).
I've encountered way too many guys who will make plans to meet and then chicken out before the date actually arrives (or make the plans with no intention of ever meeting in the first place). So, when I make plans with a guy, I ask him to call me the day of our plans, no later than 4pm (assuming we're meeting at 7) to confirm our plans and let me know he's still planning on coming. I explain WHY I insist on this, I explain that it is important that he call before 4, and I explain that if he does not call by then, I will assume he is not planning on coming and our plans are off.
Pretty simple, right? Call me by 4 and let me know you're still planning on coming.
When they balk, that raises a big fat red flag right there. Waiting until 3:55 to call does NOT win you any brownie points with me. Waiting until 4:15, well, unless you've got a pretty damned good excuse, you're out of luck, because to me that says A. "I don't have respect for your time" and B. "I'm not particularly serious about actually meeting you".
So... can you guess what happened with my date for this evening?
Now, you might ask, if you had doubts, why not listen to them and not meet them in the first place? Because those doubts are just that, doubts, and sometimes, I have similar doubts about someone and then we meet in person and the chemistry is on and instant and doubts are quickly dispelled. But that's a rarity. Still, a rarity that's a worthy effort to obtain.
So why did today's suitors not make the grade?
Well, it's been a SmartyPants kind of week. A few days ago, I said that if all dates went as planned, in my week following uneducated unemployed Nate, I'll have had dates with 5 gainfully employed guys with doctorate level degrees. Encouraging yes, but in the end, just a big bunch of MEH.
Let's run it all down...
Somebody broke my record. It keeps going 'round and 'round playing the same tune OVER and OVER again, and I don't know about you, but I'm sure sick of hearing it, and am ready for the next track already. The entertainment factor for this tune is lonnnng since past.
What the hell am I talking about? Take a wild guess.
Got stood up again. Several times.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Again.
I mean REALLY now, come on, this is getting ridiculous. I'd think it funny if it weren't happening to me. As it is, it's just exasperating, frustrating, and disenheartening.
Yeah, this weekend really really kinda SUCKED...
As I mentioned yesterday, I had dinner plans with a guy who never called to confirm (so, as per my rules, I didn't go to meet him). Well, he finally got in touch via IM around 9pm (our plans had been to meet at 6, and he said he'd call to confirm before 2). He proceeds to tell me that he's been dealing with a client emergency all day and the alarm on his phone just went off to remind him that he should be there with me.
And again with the dubious raising of the eyebrows.
Dude, you're not too bright when coming up with the cover-your-ass excuses. If your alarm just went off, it's about 7 hours too late, considering you was supposed to call to confirm our plans no later than 2pm, and considering we were supposed to meet THREE HOURS ago. But your alarm's just going off now to tell you you're supposed to be there with me?
Uh, yeah.
So I point all of this out to him... and his quick-thinking brilliant reply is that he was going to call me at 8am, but set his alarm for 8pm by mistake.
Uhhh, yeah. Sure.
He apologized profusely, and said he'd send flowers if he had somewhere to send them to (yeah, like I'm going to give you my address, you twit).
And then, before I had a chance to respond, he signed off.
Said in my best clipped british accent: "You sir, ARE THE WEAKEST LINK!"
Now watch as I delete you from my contact lists.
-Vixen
- Mood:
cynical
I've gotten used to them in recent months. I'll often fill my social schedule up with plans every night of the week (several of them dating adventures) because I fully expect that at least a couple of them will cancel on me and I'll get the free time I need in my schedule.
Because meeting people from the 'net is filled with cancellations and being stood up by people who make plans to meet but aren't actually serious about showing up.
As a result, I instituted a firm "confirmation call" rule - which is, when I make plans to meet someone, I tell them (very clearly) that they need to call me on the day of our date to confirm our plans (by a particular time) or I will assume that they aren't coming and I won't show up. This achieves several things:
- Mood: cynical
