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That subject line, "Chris, Chris, Chris..." was not intended to be read as a chant or a cheer or a calling-out-of-one's-name-in-the-heat-of-p
In my last post about him, I was pleased that Chris actually came through with our plans to get together for the first time in a year. He'd gotten in touch and reopened the lines of communication, wanting to get together, and promised that unlike our last go 'round, he'd be prompt and consistent about keeping in touch and returning messages, and would talk to me when things were going on with him rather than getting drawn into his depression hole. He wanted to get together, and I said first he needed to show me that he could be consistent about keeping in touch. He promised the truth would bear out the action of his words.
( I think you know how that went... )
Yay for Chris! He didn't flake out, and we got together tonight for the first time in almost a year, and had a really really good time. Much fun was had by all! He was just as sexy as ever, although somehow he seemed taller than I remembered, which made him even more alluring. He introduced me to a fabulous new pizza place (ooey gooey deliciousness), a really good movie I'd not seen before (interesting mindtrip), and, oh yeah, there was that ohmygod fantabulous sex! (ohmygod. really. twice.)
I mentioned in my last post on the topic that I thought I wouldn't mind adding Chris back to the semi-regular friends-with-benefits rotation. After 'going there' with him again tonight -- oh yeah, definitely -- when it comes to sex we have chemistry in spades! I would be quite pleased to have that kind of fun with him on the regular. But, if he gets all flakey again and this doesn't turn into a regular thing, well, the enjoyment of tonight certainly made it a worthwhile endeavour, so I'm a happy girl either way.
-Vixen
If you've been reading this blog for long, it will come as no surprise when I say that I am a very sexual person. I love sex, I'm really good at it, and if I had my druthers, I'd be in a long term relationship where we were having sex several times a day on an ongoing basis. But, as this blog evidences, I'm not in a long term relationship, so I'm not getting anywhere NEAR that - although I was, for a while, when I was seeing Nate. So am I celibut in between relationships and 'testing the waters' with new relationship candidates? Hardly. I've been a swinger for most of my adult life, and I'm no stranger to having 'friends with benefits'. As I've been on my dating adventures, my general attitude has been that I'm not looking for friends with benefits, but if I start dating someone and as we get to know each other we have good interpersonal and physical chemistry but there are factors that make us a poor match for long term romance, I have no problem with maintainting that friends with benefits situation. But I turn down guy after guy after guy who contacts me looking expressly for that, because usually a guy who isn't even open to the possbility of a relationship with a woman should they find deep chemistry has issues (and is, in my experience, likely to treat women poorly). And typically they're not truly looking for friends with benefits, they're looking for a warm hole they can fuck without having to give the resepct and decent treatment a friend would deserve.
So, I've been single for the better part of a year now, but between guys I met intending to date but kept as playmates when it didn't turn towards romance and married friends in open relationships who I've known since I was a married swinger, my sex life has remained relatively active. But lately, my stable of a small handful of friends with benefits in semi-regular rotation has dwindled. It's not that the friendships have ended, but that schedules or other things going on in their lives have precluded getting together for any playtime (and will continue to preclude it for the time being). As a result, I've been experiencing a bit of a dry spell lately. I went from getting as much sex as I could handle when I was seeing Nate back to occasional dalliances with playmates to, well, pretty much nothing. This will not do. As much as I've been disinterested in meeting guys who're just looking for no strings attached sex, lately the lack of sex in my life has had me reconsidering starting to accept some of those 'no strings' offers. However, I'm not thrilled with that idea for a number of reasons, so it's remained in the "considering" phase.
But, in life (and in my sex life), there is ebb, and there is flow.
TheRealtor and I had a date planned for Sunday, and as we were talking yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon, we got into, shall we say, a very interesting conversation. The long and short of it was that both of us were trying to gingerly feel each other out as far as sex and kinks go, since we met on PayVanilla, we each figured the other might be, well, pretty darned vanilla, and we were each worried about freaking the other out with our kinks. And, as it turns out... we share a lot of the same kinks and similarly open minds, so, yay! That's all good. He made a comment about Sunday being awfully far away and being free after he finished a class late in the evening. I turns out that that would be right about when I was finishing up my dinner plans with AirForceGuy, so I suggested that we meet up for some drinks, and he readily agreed.
- Mood:
bouncy
Chris, Mr. 4th date guy, has been quite the enigma. When I see him he is friendly and chatty and sweet... and then we part ways and I don't hear from him for a week or more. He doesn't return phone calls and emails, he says he'll call and doesn't, he says he wants to get together later in the week, and then flakes out without getting in touch. And each time, just when I'm irritated to the point of saying "screw it" and writing him off, I hear from him, he apologizes for being bad about getting in touch, and for some reason, something keeps me coming back.
Because something keeps telling me "He's not an insensitive prick who's prioritized you so low that he can't be bothered to take 30 seconds to return an email/text message/voicemail... there's more going on here." And on many levels we get along well. All the aforementioned issues with reliably staying in touch have already caused me to pull him out of the potential romance pool, but he's a good friend candidate, and, well... the sex is outstanding.
Ok, I'll admit it... that is probably what keeps me from writing him off completely - the sex is damned fine, and I've already got him mentally in the "friend" category - and I put up with a lot more shit from my friends than I would from a romantic partner.
So last night I'm driving home thinking that I haven't heard from him in a week (despite the fact that he'd said he wanted to get together on the weekend and that he swore he'd get in touch), and he must be done with me (or that I should be done with him)... and that it's time, once again, to write him off and figure I won't hear from him again.
- Mood:
contemplative
But all was well! Not only did he show up, but we had a great evening together. I still have my doubts about our long term/romantic potential, and we're still on a fairly slow path to getting to know one another deeply, but there's a certain relaxed feeling to just hanging out together enjoying one anothers' company that's quite nice. Oh, and then there's the sexual chemistry, which is... just... WOW.
I made us a nice dinner, and somehow, while we were waiting for it to come out of the oven, we started to get distracted by one another... I think he was delighting in turning me into a quivering pile of mush standing in the middle of the kitchen. I took the food out of the oven, but it was quickly forgotten... as it sat cooling on the counter being more and more ignored, he suggested that it wasn't going anywhere, and instead lead me off to somewhere more comfortable (and more horizontal) to finish what we started, and... holy WOW, Batman, I'm glad he did.
And that was only round 1 ;)
So... between a good meal, good company, good snuggletime, and several bouts of GREAT sex, all in all, it was fabulous evening.
-Vixen
- Mood:
cheerful
This one's kept me guessing so far. Twice now we've gone out, hooked up, expressed a mutual interest to get together later in the week, and then he's not responded to phone or email all week... and JUST when I give up and tell myself I'm never going to hear from the guy again, he gets in touch and apologizes for not getting in touch, and wants to get together.
And it's just confusing. I'm not enitrely sure how compatible we might be for romantic relationship prospects, we've had three dates but I've not felt like I've reeeeeeeally gotten to know the real him yet, and he definitely hasn't gotten to know the real me yet. We met on PayVanilla, and I've not clued him in to any of my swinger and/or kinky history just yet. But we do seem to have pretty good "hang out together" compatibility and FABULOUS physical chemistry ::insert drooliness here:: - yet still, I keep being left wondering if he's even interested in continuing to see one another.
- Mood: contemplative
Yesterday was certainly an interesting day for a Sunday, adventuring-wise. As the subject says... I had a three-ply (or is it three-way?) adventure. As you might imagine with a lead-in like that, the story goes on for a while... so read on after the jump for all the juicy details...
- Mood: cheerful
Do you really want to read about the hot dates I have that turn into further hot dates?
OK, maybe you do. And they DO happen now and then.
But they're much easier to sum up. Like this weekend's date(s). Hot guy, good conversation, nice connection, unbelievably hot several hours of making out which almost completely destroyed every bit of 'no sex on the first date willpower' I had... and then we ended up getting together the next night and finished what we started the night before... very nicely, I might add!
And, I count on nothing. It may lead nowhere. I may never see him again. He seems interested in getting together again, but my adventures in dating have left me very... jaded about such things. So I'll keep my hopes and expectations in check and just say "yeah, it would be fun to get together again, but if it doesn't happen, no big deal."
Cuz when I get all girly and excited about a dating prospect, it inevitably falls apart. So there's no point in getting all girly and excited until it goes beyond SEVERAL dates and seems to be turning into some sort of reliably regular and ongoing thing.
-Vix
- Mood:
content
