Why, why, WHYYYYYYYY??? Why must I always be such a freaking poly magnet? YET AGAIN, I was contacted by someone who, in our emails and IMs seemed totally awesome and a great match for me... that is until I found out that he has a kid. And a WIFE.

He contacted me on FreeVanilla and we exchanged several very thought provoking emails about life, relationships, healthcare reform, and more. He IM'd me and we had a very nice conversation that showed that we had much in common, until...

( Read on to see what happened... )

I had a few real winners this week.

#1. I chatted at length with this cute chef about food and cooking, and as we both pondered what we were going to do for dinner, I suggested that perhaps we meet and regale each other with stories of food. It was at this point that he sheepishly admitted that he doesn't have a car, but if I wanted to drive over to his area (about 40 minutes away), he could show me around his neighborhood. Or, he said, he could take a bus to meet me, but wasn't sure when the next one was coming. I put the brakes on there. After the hassle of dating the non-driving Nate, that was one road I didn't want to drive down again, so to speak.

#2. Now this is some class: This guy emails me: "How much to play? My yahoo ID is..."

So I simply responded: "Go fuck yourself. That's free."

#3, well...

( read on for the story! )

Have you ever been having sex with someone and their reaction goes so far beyond passionate, filled with such utter disbelief at how supremely fabulous it is, that it leaves you wondering how terrible their past lovers have been if sex with you is so much better than anything they've had before?  Of course you have, because all of MY readers are super duper skilled lovers.  I mean I know I'm good and all, but I don't think I'm that special. ;)

When it happens when you're with a new lover, it is flattering and ego boosting.  When it happens when you're having sex with a married swinger, well...  that just amounts to poor ettiquette.  I mean...  no matter how much better your new playmate is than your spouse, you should never diss your spouse by TELLING your playmate they're better in bed than your one-and-only-love, that's just poor manners.

So I'm guessing you can tell where this story is going...  (or can you?)


 

As I was browsing profiles on FreeVanilla last night I came across a profile, the screenname of which just made me go "what the HELL?"  I frequently encounter profiles with screennames so... unappealing... that I wonder what possessed the owner to use it, what made them think it would be a good idea by any stretch of the word, what made them think this would make them appeal to potential mates.

The dude's profile name is: SmellyJoey.  Seriously.  Dude, this is a DATING site.  And you're starting out by advertising yourself as smelly.  What the hell made you think that was a good idea?

But I digress.  That is not the main topic of today's post, as it has nothing to do with persistant cheaters.

I chatted for a while today with a very attractive guy I met on SexSite.  He turned on his webcam for me, and was, in many respects, a very appealing guy...  until he revealed that oh by the way did I have a problem with the fact that he's in a relationship?  

Of COURSE I have a problem with that.  He said it was an unhappy relationship (no, really??), and I asked why he was cheating if he was unhappy instead of just leaving.  He has two small children, that's why.  (insert big eye rolling here).  So not only is he a lying cheating spouse, he's a lying cheating father too.  

So... I told him in no uncertain terms that I was not down with cheaters, and that we were done talking.  I deleted him from my contact list and went on my merry way.

So a few hours later he IMs me again.  The following conversation ensued:


 

If you haven't already, read It's a small, small world before embarking upon the rest of this post.

So, I said in It's a small, small world that I was thinking it would be fun to play with with his head a bit before springing on him that I'd already met his ex and knew what a slimeball he was and such.  Buuuuut unfortunately, Nan inadvertantly stole my fun.  She's still in regular contact with him, and when next I talked to her, she said that she told him that we'd met.  She also did something which must have been hard for her (because she admits to not being over him) - she said she wouldn't try to stand in my way if I wanted to date him, and then she went on to apologetically assure me that he had some good qualities, and basically apologize for speaking ill of him.  I assured her that I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with him (and that even if he'd not Done Her Wrong like that, I still wouldn't date him because of what he means to her right now and she's my friend).

So, a few days later, I got an IM from him.  I thought you might be entertained to read the conversation that ensued.

I live in a large metropolitan area...  not a huge huge city, but a metro area with nearly 2 million people nonetheless.  And I am often amazed by what a small, small world this area is, by how many intersections there are in my social life, by how often I meet people at random that know other people I know.  Today was just such a day.

My friend Gregory recently introduced me to his longtime friend Nan.  Apparently he was talking to her about me or something, and she thought I sounded spiffy and asked if he'd introduce us.  So he passed on my online chat ID and we've been chatting the past couple of weeks.  She and I had a very nice lunch today, 'twas nice to get to know each other in person.  

We talked at length about past relationships, our Adventures in Dating, and about the assorted Men Who've Done Us Wrong.  She was telling me at length about her last boyfriend, a guy she'd dated for several years, who really Did Her Wrong in a Big Bad Way.  There were lies, there was cheating, there were secret online profiles on SexSite and PayVanilla, there were lies and denials and coverups when confronted with them, there were trips across country to cheat, and more.  

As she's telling me his story, there were details that were popping up about her ex that were sounding more and more familiar.  When she said his (quite unusual) name, it really gave me pause.  I asked for some more details about him to confirm, and sure enough...  

...Nan's ex-boyfriend contacted me on PayVanilla a couple of weeks ago and has been chatting me up ever since.  In fact, he contacted me for the first time just 2 days before Gregory introduced me to Nan.  What a small fuckin' world, eh?

And ahhh, isn't it nice to know BEFORE I took the time to meet him what a total untrustworthy slimeball he is?

I'm thinking next time he IMs me I'll chat him up and tell him about the conversation I had recently with a friend about the Slimery of Men, about all the dishonest and slimy things her ex-bf did to her...  watch him commisserate and lament how slimy other men are, espouse that he'd never do things like that and so on...  

...and then tell him my friend's name and watch the color drain from his face (so to speak).  And then of course, tell him that I wouldn't touch his slimy azz with the proverbial 10-foot pole.

I'm still amazed at what a small world this little metropolis of nearly 2 million people is...  but I'm glad for it, for new friends, and for avoiding slimeballs!

-Vixen