I know, I know, you're shocked.  Once again, Scape and I had plans, and once again, he cancelled last minute.  This time it was a carryover from the last cancellation.  We had plans to get together last week, and the day before, he injured himself (hamstring or something) playing softball, and was in "sit on an icepack and wince" mode.  I was about to go out of town for a week, so we rescheduled for Sunday, the day after I got back.  I talked to him briefly halfway through the week and asked if things were still looking good for keeping our plans when I returned, and he said they were.  I got in late Saturday night, and when I got up on Sunday, texted Scape and asked what time I'd be seeing him that evening, bracing myself for the "I can't make it after all...." message I felt sure would be forthcoming.

And right I was.  Apparently his injury's taking longer than expected to heal.  Probably concerned that I would be dubious when he cancelled yet again, he sent me a photo of the back of his legs - and there was a huge purple... well... bruise isn't quite the right word for it...  more like "area of obvious internal bleeding" that covered an area at least 4"x5" and looked like it hurt like a motherfucker.  He's still in a lot of pain, still can barely move (much less "put the moves" on someone), so I graciously accepted the cancellation and wished him a speedy recovery.  I can hardly fault him for it - not only did he not cause the problem nor could he have anticipated how long it would take to heal, but when we first met, it was I who had to repeatedly cancel plans on me because my scratched cornea was taking forever to heal.

So... one of these days we'll make it together again.  But I'm not holding my breath.

-Vixen

When meeting guys online, I make them jump through one itty bitty hoop before meeting.  It's very simple.  Very easy.  Very undemanding.  But you'd be amazed at how many guys can't seem to handle it (which confirms for me all the more that it's a wise idea).

I've encountered way too many guys who will make plans to meet and then chicken out before the date actually arrives (or make the plans with no intention of ever meeting in the first place).  So, when I make plans with a guy, I ask him to call me the day of our plans, no later than 4pm (assuming we're meeting at 7) to confirm our plans and let me know he's still planning on coming.  I explain WHY I insist on this, I explain that it is important that he call before 4, and I explain that if he does not call by then, I will assume he is not planning on coming and our plans are off.

Pretty simple, right?  Call me by 4 and let me know you're still planning on coming.

When they balk, that raises a big fat red flag right there.  Waiting until 3:55 to call does NOT win you any brownie points with me.  Waiting until 4:15, well, unless you've got a pretty damned good excuse, you're out of luck, because to me that says A. "I don't have respect for your time" and B. "I'm not particularly serious about actually meeting you".

So... can you guess what happened with my date for this evening?

Well, it's been a SmartyPants kind of week.  A few days ago, I said that if all dates went as planned, in my week following uneducated unemployed Nate, I'll have had dates with 5 gainfully employed guys with doctorate level degrees.  Encouraging yes, but in the end, just a big bunch of MEH.

Let's run it all down...

I knew I spoke to soon.  I knew it.   After meeting Hank yesterday, I was excited, but there was a part of me that had feeling it wasn't going to work out, that it would fizzle before we even got a chance to have our second "date" on Friday.  Hell, I didn't even want to post about it here until after I'd spoken with him to determine that the post-meeting interest was mutual.  And after that conversation, I posted my happy little squee moment here, but sprinkled it with caveats about how it would probably fizzle out before it turned into anything.

Aaaaaand, I was right.  I wanted to be excited about it last night, about seeing him again, about what it might develop into, but instinct was telling me last night not to get too excited, that it wasn't going to pan out.

And this morning, I got oh so nicely blown off.  It went something like this: 

Blah blah blah gave it lots of thought after meeting blah blah blah didn't feel the spark he was hoping for blah blah blah very legitimate sounding reason why he needs to cancel our plans Friday blah blah blah hopefully we can still get together and hang out in a few weeks blah blah BLAH.

Yeah.  So that was my pleasant morning.  And as anticipated, I'm incredibly disappointed.  I suppose I should be glad that he continued Channelling Hank so far as to be straightforward with me about how he felt, ensuring I wasn't led on.  I'm a little dubious about how honest he was about his need to cancel our plans Friday (it's complicated and not worth explaining here, but it was a potentially very legitimate reason, yet the timing was awwwwfully convenient), but I guess it doesn't really matter either way.  It still just fucking sucks.  It sucks to find someone with whom you feel a strong mutual connection and compatibility of personalities, but when they meet you in person, they don't feel enough of a physical spark to want to pursue the connection further.

That's a bit of a crashing blow to one's self esteem.

So, there you have it.  My continued Adventures in Dating, for your entertainment and edification.

Disappointedly,

Vixen