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I was So impressed until you started in with the pathetic rant about sex. The world is full of stupid people, DO NOT cater to them. You're going to get insulting emails but that is why there is a delete button.
Hopefully you ditch the cynicism and allow your true greatness to shine thru unimpeded.
WTF is he talking about? Pathetic rant about sex? I took a careful look at my profile. There was no direct reference to sex, no rants, nothing cynical, nothing negative. The only thing I found in my profile that I could possibly connect to what he was saying was:
Ultimately, what I am looking for here is NOT a casual sex partner, but someone with whom there is potential for a long term relationship.
This, in between long passages of positive information about me and what I'm seeking.
So, I responded:
What "pathetic rant about sex" are you talking about?? The only thing I could think of that you could possibly be talking about is where I said "Ultimately, what I am looking for here is NOT a casual sex partner, but someone with whom there is potential for a long term relationship." - that isn't a rant nor is it cynical. It is simply a fact that there are many people on this site who are here looking primarily for casual sex partners, friends with benefits, etc. And while I have no problem with people seeking that kind of thing, it is not what *I* am looking for, so I thought it wise to be clear that I'm not looking for a casual thing, but looking for with LTR potential. I don't see how that constitutes a pathetic rant, or cynicism. I don't cater to the undesirable emails I get, and I don't generally get insulting emails. I get plenty of emails from guys who are clearly without any social skills, but they're generally just trying to be complimentary and get laid, albeit poorly. But I assure you, I am not cynical about men or dating :)
His response? Brief, and just as nonsensical:
thanks for taking the time to try to clear that up. i have different opinions on the subject but that's ok!
Different opinions on WHAT subject? It seemed almost as if he was looking at someone else's profile and emailing mine. Regardless, he's clearly an idiot. I didn't respond. I just said WTF, recorded it here for posterity so that you can see the sort of crap I have to deal with in the online dating world.
Vixen
Today's story may not, on its surface, seem to have anything to do with dating... but the more I thought about it, it kept reminding me of my dating experiences, like it was the perfect analogy for what I go through with men and their general asshattery.
So, I went to lunch with a friend today, to a favorite restaurant we've been to many times. There's this one waiter who is so utterly all-around incompetent that we're sure he's only managed to keep his job because he's the owner's nephew. We generally try to avoid getting him as our waiter, but today, alas, we were not successful.
Everything was going more or less OK until the end of the meal.
Let it not be said that I haven't learned anything from my adventures in dating. Each adventure represents lessons learned. Like back in April, when in the Lies Men Tell, I met a dishonest, disingenuous jerk that caused me to generate the term Barney, the breed of guys who, like Neil Patrick Harris' character Barney on the show "How I Met Your Mother", are womanizers who make a game of telling a woman whatever it is they think she wants to hear in an effort to get her in bed on the first date, and regardless of whether she sleeps with him or not, they never want to see or sleep with a woman more than once. He wasn't the first Barney I encountered, not by a long shot, but it was with him that insight was gained and Barneys became a lesson learned. So I'll call him Barney #1.
Today's story, however, is about another man...
When meeting guys online, I make them jump through one itty bitty hoop before meeting. It's very simple. Very easy. Very undemanding. But you'd be amazed at how many guys can't seem to handle it (which confirms for me all the more that it's a wise idea).
I've encountered way too many guys who will make plans to meet and then chicken out before the date actually arrives (or make the plans with no intention of ever meeting in the first place). So, when I make plans with a guy, I ask him to call me the day of our plans, no later than 4pm (assuming we're meeting at 7) to confirm our plans and let me know he's still planning on coming. I explain WHY I insist on this, I explain that it is important that he call before 4, and I explain that if he does not call by then, I will assume he is not planning on coming and our plans are off.
Pretty simple, right? Call me by 4 and let me know you're still planning on coming.
When they balk, that raises a big fat red flag right there. Waiting until 3:55 to call does NOT win you any brownie points with me. Waiting until 4:15, well, unless you've got a pretty damned good excuse, you're out of luck, because to me that says A. "I don't have respect for your time" and B. "I'm not particularly serious about actually meeting you".
So... can you guess what happened with my date for this evening?
But while he flirted at things we might do together in the future of an intimate nature (indicating a desire to keep seeing one another), when I asked if he still wanted me to go skydiving with him on the next Friday (my birthday), his response was... less than unenthusiastic. He said "Sure, if you want to." And then he went on about how he'd have to get the information to the dive school to me so I could call and make an appointment and see if they even still had any slots open for a first time jumper at the same time as him and and and... a whole bunch of discouragements.
What the hell? He'd invited me, unsolicited, to go with him, twice. Finally, I agreed. Now I was getting the impression he didn't really want me to go. I didn't press it, but thinking about it later, decided to ask him about it the next time I saw him online, to clear the air, give him an out if he didn't want to go skydiving together, and to determine whether I should start planning for this to actually happen or not.
Late Saturday night, as I was battling a bout of insomnia around 3am, he IM'd me. Drunk. The conversation that ensued and the followup conversation today, well... you'll just have to see for yourself.
I feel like I’ve told this story a hundred times. In fact, I probably have, just never here. I’ve mentioned Jerkson, the asshole ex I was actively trying to forget, a number of times over the course of my blogging about my Adventures in Dating this past year, but I’ve never told that story. The story that started it all. The story that made me say, once and for all, I am SO through with broken men. Steve Jerkson: Adventure 0.
I guess it’s time.
What ensued became quite the Adventure in Dating... an adventure we will be calling The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
So here's today's mockworthy asshat from FreeVanilla - keep in mind that he lives at least 4 hours away from me:
I like your style. I'm a man in town every month for a week or so, working on a record for my band in a recording studio nearby. I have nights free this week, all week, not to mention a fantastic king size bed in the plush accommodations of the Best Western. Actually, I'm really enjoying the Best Western, but a gorgeous, busty redhead would make it that much more enjoyable.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon
OK, so maybe crossing dating streams with a friend wouldn't be THAT bad, but it was an amusing mental image to come to mind nonetheless.
