I got together Thursday night with Scape again, we had a very nice time.  I cooked a tasty italian meal, we watched a very funny movie, and had lots of great sex.  In a sort of staggered fashion.  I made an appetizer, we ate it, and then settled in to watch a movie.  Before too long we got distracted from the movie by a bit of smooching, and decided to have a little sex interlude before I cooked dinner.  He had come over straight from playing volleyball, so we hopped in the shower together to get clean and then get dirty again.  I figured we'd make quick work of the shower so that we could get to the wide horizontal expanse of my king sized bed.  After we got a bit worked up in the shower, he said that he wanted to be inside me there in the shower - I said that would be nice, but not without a condom.  And, frankly, while shower sex can be hot, it is usually necessarily brief, because the physical limitations - and rather than have to stop in the middle to move to the bed (with a mood-killing post-shower-dry-off period), I had been hoping to engage in some hot foreplay in the shower and then move to the bed for the main show. 

But Scape must have been a boy scout, because he had come prepared!  I hadn't noticed, but he left a condom on the ledge just outside the shower, and showing such forethought goes far with me, so how could I say no?  And boy, I'm glad I went along for the ride!  I have had sex in my shower stall many many times - but never quite like that! (hmm... I'm sensing a pattern with Scape - he seems to keep doing things that cause my mind to go "I've done this general activity before, but holy WOW, it's never been like that!!!")  Usually shower sex (in a stall type shower) involves one or the other person pressed up against the wall - but somehow Scape had us BOTH presed up against the walls!  with my chest pressed against the wall under the shower head, and Scape's back pressed up against the opposite wall, his feet bracing himself against the wall at my feet, Scape was using the entire shower for leverage as he pulled some pretty impressive dance moves!

Ahhhh... much fun.

 
So, that was just the pre-sex shower *grin*.  The rest of the evening went on in a similarly titillating fashion...  more sex, then dinner, then movie, then more sex, then finished movie, then more sex, then sleep.  In the morning smooches and hugs from the bleary-eyed Vixen as he dressed and headed off to work  before I dozed off until I had to get up for work an hour later.

OK, so we've had 3 really enjoyable (albeit temporally distant) dates, two of which included much "holy WOW" inducing sex.  So this begs the question... but where is this going?  I think that the answer is probably "not much of anywhere".  I think it is likely that at most, we will be friends with benefits in the long term.  Why, you ask?  Well, despite all the good booty, I don't think we connect deeply on an interpersonal level.  In a potential mate, I tend to respond best to someone who is outgoing, talkative, confident, and assertive.  Scape is a bit on the quiet side, and isn't super talkative.  Now, don't get me wrong, we have plenty of conversation when we're together, but there's a certain fire, a certain level of engagement to his personality that isn't quite there.  Things feel very friendly when we're together, not an electrically charged, drawn to one another, must gobble up and learn everything there is to know about you type of connection. 

BUT... I'm not sure how much of this is just how little time we've actually spent together, and a deeper connection might come in time.  We've known each other a month, but have seen each other only 3 times in that month, and we don't communicate much in between.  Our primary mode of communication is instant messaging, but he's not supposed to be online at work (as in he could lose his job if he gets caught), so it tends to be one or two brief messages at a time, sometimes separated by an hour or three.  Needless to say, this doens't usually make for in-depth conversation, just brief updates on what we're up to or attempts to make plans to get together, and occasional phone calls to work on getting-together plans too.  Buuuuuuuuuuut if he was really into me in the sense of wanting me to become his girlfriend, not just a fuckbuddy, methinks there'd be more effort there - to talk on the phone, to email if we can't IM, to see each other more often.  We seem to be on the level of friends trying to make plans to get together when schedules allow than a burgeoning couple trying to get to know one another and include one another in our lives.

After we got together Thusday night, and on Friday during the day, I sent him a TXT message saying I'd had a great time, and asking if he'd like to do it again over the weekend or early the following week.  No response.  When I still hadn't heard from him by Sunday afternoon, I called.  When he didn't answer, I left a voicemail (just saying to give me a call).  He didn't call back.  WTF?  So I'm thinking OK, maybe he's trying to tell me something.  Or maybe he's not so great about returning messages.  Or maybe he has his phone turned off.  A few weeks ago he told me that if he's busy, sometimes he just turns off his phone for the whole weekend.  That just seems like a weird and foreign concept to this Technologically Dependent Vixen, so I think I forgot about him saying that as I was fretting about him not returning my messages this weekend and maybe just not wanting to see/talk to me.

So about half an hour ago, he IM'd me, saying "Hey there, hope you're well. I haven't even checked my messages from this weekend. I have about 8 to go thru. I've been busy cleaning house, moving things around, and I have a friend in town on business staying with me thru Tuesday. How was your weekend."

Oh!  OK, so he was busy and not checking his messages...  annoying but at least he wasn't intentionally blowing me off.  And he HAS been quite busy with assorted life upheaval stuff the past few weeks, and he had company and and and...

But gee, it would sure be nice if we had a little more COMMUNICATION and he'd keep me informed on such things (although I guess it could be argued that that is what he was doing when he IM'd me).

I responded cheerfully, but told him that I'd been a little annoyed that he'd not returned my messages and that it left me wondering if he was trying to tell me something (and that I'm not used to people who turn off their phone for days on end).  Aaaaaaaaaaaand he didn't respond for 2 hours.  But I didn't get too bent out of shape, as this is par for the course when he's at work.

When Scape did respond, he asked me to please not take it personally, that he's always hated phones and can tends towards the reclusive side. He said he'd only gotten a phone when his ex-wife convinced him to have one in case of emergency.  OK, I can understand that.  My ex-husband hated the telephone as well, and refused to have a cell phone for years until I surprised him with a spiderman phone for Christmas.  His inner geekboy couldn't resist its awesomeness.  

Scape also reminded me (which I'd forgotten) that for 2.5 years he lived out in the woods without electricity (he was counselling teens at one of those "straighten out your troubled teen" boot camps) - so he was used to being away from technology.  He further explained how busy he's been lately, that he's got a houseguest, a crazy work week, and then is heading out of town to visit his family next weekend, but that he'd really like to get together the week after.

OK, fair enough. 

See, I say I don't see this going anywhere dating-wise (partially because I think he doesn't), but then we have conversations like this that make me go "I dunno... maybe?"  I complained above that I figured if he was really interested in more than just fuckbuddydom with me, he'd call more, communicate electronically more, and make more of an effort to see me.  But after our conversation, I'm more convinced that he just really hates telephones and has been uber-busy schedule-wise.  And as for electronic communication, we had a surprisingly long online chat today (I'm guessing the boss must be out of the office), so... maybe I was attributing things to him (that lack of communication = lack of interest) that were untrue (when in fact lack of communication = eschewing communications technology).

Oh well, I'm not going to sweat it either way.

I think Scape is interesting, enjoyable to be around, and a lot of fun in bed.  If it never goes beyond that, that's OK with me.  If some day it develops into more on its own...  well that'll be fine too ;)

-Vixen